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10 New Years Resolutions To My Son

1) I will no longer pick your nose, even if they are really big and right near the entrance so I could jussssst so easily and quickly hook them out with my little finger nail (that I may have grown especially for this purpose only).

2) I will not keep feeding you crackers, crisps, rice cakes, soggy biscuits (that I’m not  even sure how long have been in the bottom of the bag) and basically anything I can get my hands on to keep you quiet…..(mainly in the back of the car; 2017 I will also clean car seat). Im worried you may end up a 10 tonne whale one day if I’m not careful.

3) I will stop making you kiss girls for photos and just general “awwwww” moments for Mums.

4) I will stop using Peppa Pig as a drug to make you still and quiet so I can have a cup of tea/ lie on the sofa on Facebook.

5) Leading on from point 4, I will spend less time on my phone on Facebook/ Instagram/ Pintrest. I’m gutted you know how to use touch screen at age 19 months. You should be playing outside for gods sake.

6) I will revise names I call you as I’m thinking maybe one day they might give you a complex…….Stinky, Fatty, Ginger Nut, Smelly boy (its not your fault that your nappies REEK).

7) We will also stop playing the “don’t tell Daddy” game. Even though you look really cute with little hair clips in and bracelets on, I think Mummy may need to get a girl dog instead!

8) I will stop dressing you in baby sleep suits (by the age of 18) so you look like “my little baby” for longer. Jeans just make you look so old.

9) I will stop using the I-Pad at meal times to distract you so you will eat. You need to learn adult conversation now.

10) I will stop telling you everything is Bacon just so you will try it.

PS. I will also make it my sole purpose this year to make sure you’re wearing matching socks.

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