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Phrases I Never Thought I’d Say….Until I Had Children

Did you ever just have a moment of realisation, and think about what you are actually saying??? Then think to yourself “wtf”?!!! Here are some of mine over the passed few weeks…….

  • No that’s not Mummies winky, those are Mummies nipples…yes 2 of them

 

  • Why don’t you give Bunny some milk, aww Bunny likes milk….why don’t you make Bunny and Teddy Dumpling (don’t ask) kiss…

 

  • How much dog poo did you eat???? (not something you ever want to ask really)

 

  • Come over here Arlo, bring both of your furry balls with you (referring to tennis balls obviously)

 

  • Arrghhh please don’t put yogurt in your ears again

 

  • My little baby, my squidgey widgey little pudding pie (actually making myself cringe…..WHATS HAPPENED TO YOU KATIE)

 

  • If you’re a good boy, you can take the watering can to bed with you (f*cking LOVES that thing)

 

  • Please stop licking the door hinges

 

  • Wowee you are SOOOOO clever, what a clever boy (clapping and cheering excessively over tiny dribble of wee in the potty….actually almost shedding a tear of joy)

 

  • Oh look, there’s a moo moo/ baa baa/ quack quack/ woof woof/ neigh neigh etc etc

 

  • No, we don’t use our toothbrush to clean our bums please (long story)

 

  • (also bum related) Please dont try and put the stick up the sheeps bottom, he wont like it

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