Anyone else feeling like this yet??? A few days ago, we did our walk THE OTHER WAY ROUND!!! Totally crazy and mind-blowing!!!! My pre-Corona-life also felt ground-hoggy (word?) as I KNEW what was coming (gym Monday, work Tuesday, Forest School Wednesdays, Baby Gym Thursday, Swimming Friday, work Saturday, school run every day….dinner every day, high chair cleaning everyday…), but now it’s like the ultimate kind of Groundhogs. Although weirdly, the feeling that we really don’t know what’s coming next keeps me going?? I am working towards an end??? Or a new beginning maybe? For me this is keeping the mundane fresh (mostly) and the novelty of this temporary way of life ticking over (most days). I know this isn’t forever. I won’t get this time again.
We Are Not All In The Same Boat
I’ve seen this a lot recently and I’m becoming acutely aware of is how different this situation is for everyone. No two lockdowns are the same. I was stood in the queue for Tesco’s the other day and I was studying everyone (through my dark sunnies): silent, not talking, not making eye contact, distancing from others in their own worlds. I just thought, each one of these people has a their own COVID-19 story and facing their own set of battles. The spectrum of difficulty is huge, and I feel bad to say anything bad about my situation as many are SO much more worse off. A lockdown with young kids does present its own set of challenges however, but I’m thankful each day for chocolate, locks on bathrooms, TV, wipes, bribes and my (chaotic) family.
I’ve been having these days, like once a week?? Where I just wake up with zero motivation to do anything at all and I just feel a bit glum? So, I wear odd socks and joggers, eat peanut butter straight from the jar, do oven fish and chips for my kids, snacks all day on the sofa, and let them watch a lot TV. I feel mega mum guilt but have told myself that the kids need a rest day???!! I would win no parenting awards AT ALL and if they want to eat tomato ketchup from the bottle and run around naked, so be it. Generally, if I just go with it and try not to fight it I wake up feeling so much better the next day.
I’m Scared For It To End??!
Obviously, I want this all to be over, and life to return to normal, families to be reunited, jobs to be safe again and people to be healthy. BUT, I’m nervous to get back on that hamster wheel of life again. I’m nervous to be away from my kids for longer than my food shop (although Grandparents, please feel free to take them away for like a week when this is over so I can sleep and just sit there in peace), nervous to drive again, parallel park, nervous for the overload of life admin, work deadlines, making pack lunches, getting somewhere at certain times……Plus, I think I’m going to be like really weird in social situations now??? I think I’m scared of people!!! I’ve strangely become accustomed to this slower pace of life. Who’d have thought! But I’m also scared for how our new world is going to be after this. I’m not sure it will ever be the same again. Staying in this bubble for a while feels safer.
Fear Of Missing Out
My whole life I have really bad FOMO! But for the first time like EVERRRRR, I don’t have it!!! Because EVERYONE is in the same situation- no one can travel, no one can snowboard, no one can go to gymnastics, no one can hang out with mates, no one can go on adventures. I’m not drooling over what others are doing for once. Apart from those obviously quarantining in like Hawaii.
The Tables Have Turned
Obviously not in every situation (some are worse off now as Dads are away full time and mums doing it totally on their own) but in some situations are husbands getting a taste of full-time parenting???!!! If you are in this situation, is it giving you justice in some way??? Like they will finally understand what it’s like??? I’ve now been furloughed, but for a sweet month, I worked more than my husband. I felt slightly smug that maybe my husband might see what it’s been like for the last 5 years. I’ve done A LOT of solo parenting and even though he farts too much and is well annoying, I’m so grateful I’m not on my own right now. Shout out to all you bloody amazing hardcore mums/ dads doing it on you’re own.
I Think I’m Becoming Lazy??
As the days go on, I can feel my motivation dwindling. I went in strong with the kid’s activities, daily walks, home exercising, DIY, now I feel like I’m just totally running out of steam?! And ideas of “fun things to do with kids”- I’m all out. I hate feeling lazy, like the less I do, the more sluggish and lazier I feel, so the less I do??? Vicious circle. I think this would be worse without kids, as they definitely don’t allow you to sit around like everrrrrr.
My Running Career!
Exercise has definitely been my saving grace in life. Any bad times it’s what I turn too. Helps me mentally and means I can eat more cake. So, with no more of my normal exercise outlets, I have turned to running!!! I HATE it (until it’s over then I like it!). No idea how people do it? I’ve zero stamina, run like a chicken and sound like a wheezy donkey? I trained for over 2 weeks to get up to 5k for that challenge (blisters, cow poo, wee, faulty running gear falling down, shoes that look like moon boots) but now I’ve run my 5k, I’m please to say I’ve retired!!! To be fair I will probably carry on* as it’s my only escape out the house kid free.
*go out in running gear, hide around the corner, throw water over me to look like sweat just before I come home.
Getting Out Of The House
When I first had a baby it honestly took me like 3 hours to leave the house?? I then (somehow) got it down to a fine art and could get ready and out with 2 kids by 8am (ish). But now, for our daily exercise, it takes half the day to get ready to go out?? I don’t understand, there’s 2 parents to help!!! We are done with “home schooling” by 9.30/ 10 but often don’t get out for our walk until 12/1?? No idea what happens in those 3 hours.
Time To Do Things
Actually, I haven’t achieved much at all on my to-do list. I seriously underestimated (forgot) how full on it is just surviving each day with kids. Thought I would have oodles of time to write this blog but tbh, I don’t think I’ve even brushed my teeth today??! I haven’t learnt a language, I haven’t got an online qualification, I haven’t learnt an instrument, I haven’t built a new bathroom, I haven’t planted veg, I haven’t birthed baby chicks, I haven’t learnt yoga, I haven’t got a 6-pack, I haven’t painted beautiful pictures of nature, I haven’t become a domestic goddess (I did bake a banana bread once), I haven’t home-schooled a little Einstein. BUT, I have managed to do some little things that I am pleased with:
Started moisturising my feet
Watched ALL the seasons of Friends
Sorted out my sock draw and paired socks (that was a fun half hour with kids??!)
Made baby album for Kitt (age 18….ha only joking he’s nearly 3)
Put lemon in my hair to see if it will make it go blonder
Clean Forest School mud off my boots from 2019.
Put “does hair self-wash over a certain time” to the test…..its doesn’t seem to.
Trying to celebrate the little things!
Turned to Drink
So, I don’t drink (a story for another time), apart from a Baileys at Christmas and a very odd special occasion where I will have 1 and that’s it. However, I have started to enjoy an afternoon (after 12pm??) tipple. And I swear it makes me a better mum??!! I’m so fun! Last week I was riding around on our brush pretending to be a witch. Kids loved it. I was a HOOT!!!
Changes to My Life
Once lockdown is over, I think I’m going to make some changes to my life……..More of that in the next blog!
- Has anyone else’s food shop doubled since lockdown and “pile for the tip” taken over a large portion of house??!