Tag Archives: lockdown

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Lockdown 3.0 “The Fat Lockdown”

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Do you remember in the first lockdown in March 2020 (you know- the one where you hung out in the garden all day, when you were in awe of the beauty of nature and appreciated trees, when you made smoothies and did home workouts and yoga and felt all zen and stuff, when you had loads of realisations about your life, became a DIY King/ Queen, had cider and ice-cream in the garden at 2pm whilst the children played *happily with their toys, when you said with relief “well, at least it’s not in January or something, now that would be depressing”……

….and here we are.

*of course, children never just amuse themselves and play happily with their toys but the cider helps to blur your vision

The Fat Lockdown

I like to call this the “Fat Lockdown”. It’s the timing of it. As many (?????) I go less hardcore on exercise over the festive period and more hardcore on my eating. Then at the start of January (ish, give or take a few days depending on NYE), I start a fresh and get on the fitness wagon again. This January however, before I could become like this 6-packed-health-goddess, lockdown 3.0 hit. The only way I can describe it is I’m still behaving as if I’m in the festive period. I’m trying to claw my way out, but motivation is at a ZERO and there is still some Baileys in the fridge and mince pies (they were on offer) in the cupboard. I feel like I’m stuck in that confused period of time in-between Christmas and New Year when you don’t know what day it is/ what you’re supposed to be doing.  

Shall we just put the decorations back up???!

January Blues

I think I’m partially psychic? Or maybe just read the news (occasionally). But I felt the impending doom before NYE. I just wasn’t as excited to start the fresh “new-year, new-me” as usual. New Year’s Day started with watching the sunrise and I felt a little positive for a second and tried to ignore the sinking feeling inside me.

This lockdown is supposed to feel better as “there is a light at the end of the tunnel now” ie: the vaccination. So why does it feel like a million times worse?

I’m not sure about others, but January for me is like THE WORST month. Since I stopped doing winter seasons (January was the best snowboarding wise!), January is the slump after Christmas, the weather is grotty and there isn’t a sniff of tinsel or candy canes to jolly everything up. There isn’t so much to look forward to (Valentine’s day??). Spring is a long way away. So, lockdown on top has just magnified this.

All The Lockdowns

The first lockdown- I think the novelty saw us through, plus the weather and sun tans.

The second lockdown- for us in Devon, it really didn’t seem any different (very lucky) plus schools were open (thank god!)

The third lockdown- all the repercussions of Covid-19 are beginning to have an effect and the reality of it is dawning. Novelty has worn off and to be honest, people are just over it. I’m over it. People are down, people seem angry, people seem to be judging a bit more and turning against one another, people seem to be properly hibernating and shutting off from the world (me included). Its just feels sad everywhere? Everyone is tired and bored of the situation.

Plus, I think the first lockdown the pressure was off everything/ everyone as we thought it was only going to be a short period of time. Who knew a year later we would still be here. It’s like we aren’t allowed a “break” anymore, we just have to figure out how to get on with things and make life work. Suck it up. Learn how to do ridiculous juggling acts.

Lockdown 3.0

This lockdown is all about standing out in freezing cold playgrounds, doing the same daily exercise circuits that you did in the summer but in way more clothes, feeling guilty because your kid is watching too much TV because you’re working/it’s raining/ you’re unmotivated to do anything else, feeling guilty because you’re not doing inspiring lockdown projects, feeling guilty because other mums are doing way more, feeling guilty because you’re trying to work AND home-school and getting annoyed with both, feeling guilty because you are getting annoyed with your kids, feeling guilty because you’re feeling blue and others are WAY WAY worse off than you. This lockdown you’re dredging the creative tank for “activities with kids” as you exhausted ALL ideas in the first lockdown, you’re sticking your head out the window like a dog just to get some fresh air (thanks Kelly!!), you’re feeling silly about all the DIY you did in the first lockdown as now you can’t afford/ justify new toilet roll holders, you’re trying so hard to get motivated everyday when all you REALLY want to do is sit on the sofa in your PJs (not even joggers) and cry into a box of assorted biscuits (from Christmas, yep still there) whilst watching Bridget Jones Diary.

Everyone really does have their own set of challenges that this whole situation has created. Everyone has their battles. Some really awful heart wrenching ones. BUT, it’s all relevant, so don’t feel bad for feeling bad about yours! EVERYONE is struggling.

For me, the rollercoaster of emotions over the last couple weeks has been crazy, almost the worst yet?! I’m not sure about other mums (???….judging by my mummy Watsapp groups I don’t think I was alone???) but I had what can only be described as a nervous breakdown when BoJo announced that the schools wouldn’t be opening. Honestly, the last time I remember crying that much was when Bambi died. I really thought I had hung up my chalk board forever. Then I cried more because I felt guilty that I was crying about having to hang out and teach my own child??? Bad Mum. Then I cried because I was crying so much I let a little bit of wee out.

(I’ve said it once/ twice/ maybe even three times, but teachers are HEROS in my eyes!!)

Anyway, they were going to school, then they weren’t going to school, then some kids were…..then we had some big decisions here (won’t go into it all). Then in the midst of all this I also got made redundant from like THE BEST job in the world.

But it’s ok as now I can actually follow my ambition to become a Professional Chocolate Taster (in my dreams!) so silver lining! ha

Positives

So now I am trying to claw back some positives to lockdown 3.0 to keep me upbeat:

  • I can’t be all depressed and sit on the sofa watching chick flicks as the boys won’t let me sit down for more than 5 mins AND they don’t like chick flicks. Thank goodness for the boys.
  • Equally trying to embrace it and enjoying the excuse having to stay inside in the warm and be a bit lazy!
  • Surely there will be some crazy travel boom after all this??? Now I am an experienced home schooler, I might just take the boys out of school and backpack round the world for a year. (actually, might take a tutor)
  • When we come out of this it will be nearly spring!!! I’m sure one year we had a mini heat wave in February?
  • This is getting the boys tougher and used to going out whatever the weather
  • Getting good use out of snowboard thermals, jackets, hats etc
  • In nearly a whole year I have only blow dried and straightened my hair once!
  • I’ve saved lots of money on razors (winter hibernation)
  • Santa jazzed up my bike with some pink handle bar grips and leopard print gloves
  • Can still bike ride with my Dad/ meet my Mum for exercise, and they still have antibodies from their Covid back in March!
  • No one can see how “festively plump” I have become
  • I have more time to get “snowboard fit” (once out of Christmas slump obvs)
  • Discovered a YouTube thing where you can put a live “fireplace” on your TV. Genius!
  • I’m realising more and more that everyone is so different and sees things so differently and you really must trust your gut and do what’s right for you and your family
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The New Normal- Covid19 Blog

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Party Time?

Now the “unlocking of lockdown” has begun (thanks Kyrie!) we should all be feeling elated? But for some reason, it feels like a massive anti- climax. Previously I had been thinking and asking people… “what’s the first thing that you are going to do when lockdown is over?”. I imagined everyone coming out into the streets and cheering, hugging each other, maybe even licking each other. There would be fireworks, maybe even a trumpet, but most definitely glow sticks. Then the next day I would eagerly hand over my kids to grandparents as we jet set off for some *wild weekend away.…But it’s not been like that at all. Its not be like a massive party with fanfares and celebrations. It’s been a very gradual, diluted affair.  For me I feel like I’m slowly and very timidly dipping my toes back into reality and life again, but feeling guilty and scared by doing so?

*full night’s sleep, a tidy house and bath without toy frog going up bum.

What Are The Rules? Anyone?

I’m also feeling rather confused?! Like when you accidently try to make a phone call with your TV remote or spray air freshener in the garden? Just me? I think my confusion is partially down to not really watching the news anymore (kids next level crazy atm and can’t do anything remotely adult). Lockdown was lockdown, you stayed in, didn’t do ANYTHING. Simple. Almost easier? But now, we aren’t back to normal as we knew it, but we aren’t in full lockdown. Just in some weird world in-between universe. Its feels sort of “normal” but then not normal at all??? Maybe this is why I went out in odd flip flops the other day.

Routine

It doesn’t stick around long enough to get used to it??? For me…..husband away, me solo parenting; everyone on lockdown 24/7; me working, husband looking after kids 2 days a week (bliss); furloughed; 5 year old at school, husband back at work full time; soon me to be back at work, kids summer holiday……I used to look after both boys by myself all the time but must admit these last 3 weeks have been HARD getting used to that again!!!! Out-of-practice.

The End Of A Horror Movie?

It’s scary. When were in the midst of it, it was a novelty. Everyone was in it together. But I think now the reality of what this crazy pandemic has left us with is starting to hit. The uncertainty, the re-building, the new etiquette, the furious anti-bacing, the job losses, the one-way systems, the queuing, the deserted shops, the loss of human touch/ face to face interaction, the unruly lockdown hair. The life as we knew it has gone. Honestly, the only thing I can liken it too is some sort of film where the actors have to hide underground from some kind of apocalypse. Then once it’s over, they reimage to discover what’s left of the world. Obvs not as dramatic but I definitely have a “28 days later” feel recently.

School

I have not really talked about the school thing on here because I was worried of being judged. Not sure why really but maybe because I wasn’t sure myself and questioned the decision to send my 5-year-old son back to school. I must admit, when BJ first announced that reception kids could go back, my husband and I jumped off the sofa cheering and high fiving!! But then it sunk it. It wasn’t going to be the same for my son. I was so sad for him and worried if he would be ok with it. So many emotions and thoughts like most parents must have had. Won’t bore you with our reasons (could do a whole other blog post on this!) but we stuck to our original decision, we did what we felt was right for HIM. And we struck gold, honestly. And I can’t tell you what a joy it is to retire as his teacher. I once had an inkling to be a teacher. That is now gone.

Questions. So many questions.

Is this it then? The new normal? Are things ever going to be like they were before? Or is there always going to be this massive elephant in the room. Am I always going to have to queue up to get some peanut M&Ms from Tesco’s 2 meters apart?! Is anyone ever going to be able to cough in public again without getting death stares? Drink Corona beer without making a corona related joke? Walking backwards down the one-way-system in a shop to make it ok (anyone else do this?), open air hugs, workout without a child using you as a Stegasaurus, hold breath when go passed people, feel guilty for enjoying yourself, feel like it’s just going to happen again and the urge to buy that extra pack of loo roll????!!!

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Mountain Biking

Was loving (and still am) appreciating the simple things in life (the sound of the birds, the greenness of the trees, the smell of the flowers etc), but It was when I said to my husband the other day with earnest in my eyes and genuine excitement in my voice “oh, I think I might be able to fit another wash load on here”, I realised I seriously needed to start getting “back out there”. I needed to get some of ME back.

Introducing Mountain Biking!

My dad (age 73) is like this crazy downhill, off-road mountain biker. Honestly, he’s gnarly. He has been trying to get me into it for years, but it really had zero appeal to me. He kept saying I would love it, it was just like snowboarding, but I couldn’t see it. But when him and my mum were both poorly with suspected Covid19, it really put things into perspective. Having not had a bike since I was maybe 10, I have really had to start at the beginning. I mean, I didn’t even know what the different gears were for or that you actually had 2x breaks! Also had to go for a specialist “undercarriage” saddle fit as clearly birthing 2 boys has broken me.

I’ve been 6 times now and I am LOVING it!!! And IT IS just like snowboarding, picking lines, carving, trying to “ollie” your bike. I look like a complete kook in my gear and my lack of skills, but I actually don’t care. Gives me that “oh my god I’m going to die” adrenaline rush I love. I’m weird. It has become a family affair now, bikes all round.

I have also spent more time drinking gin with my mum on park benches! Life’s about balance!

Felt Mobiles

Quite contradictorily to my adrenaline seeking extreme sport type things, I really enjoy sewing (*cough granny). I have finally got around to semi putting into production my range of Felt Mobiles. It’s something I can do whilst watching TV/ sunbathing/ socialising. Keep trying to do it with my kids there but have 100% confirmed that this isn’t as feasible (my youngest dismantled the felt unicorn and rubbed the unicorn’s horn around his ball bag……don’t worry Millie, I made another!). Working on some more designs over the summer. Had a brainwave for the name…..Mega Felts. See what I did there?!

Life Is Going To Be Better

However, I think this whole thing could do some good changes to our world for the better? We are going to be even more super polite queuing and being very British and polite AND hopefully be healthier and get less bugs over winter as we are all going to be cleaner! I’m also going to save money on perfume as people can’t get close enough to smell it, AND I can eat garlic and onion with no concerns people also won’t be close enough to smell the effects of that. I have also learnt how to make semi edible cheese straws during this time.

 

 

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Lockdown Update: Bittersweet

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After nearly 2 weeks of LOCKDOWN, emotions are settling down, we are adjusting to our new way of life, and we are eating way more snacks than necessary. Here are some things I’ve realised in our Corona bubble in the last few days:

 

  • Went in too strong during the first week of “kid’s activities” and set the bar waaaaaayyyyy too high. Doing more now with them than I ever have??? Now one of the most asked questions is “what are we doing next Mummy”. Should’ve gone in low.

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  • I Have let myself go….already. Shaving is unshaved (you know when your toddler calls your armpit hair “grass” and tries to eat it, its BAD), plucking is un plucked, make-up is not made-up, hair is just outright bushy AND I’m not even bothering to speak as much, just grunt in a primitive type way. And If I’m showing my midriff and side boob before midday…WHO CARES!!!! Unless you nip out to put bins out and your’e spotted by postman (sorry and I really appreciate the work you are doing).

 

  • I have forgotten how to dress. My comfy house clothes game is TOP-NOTCH, however, on the occasion that I re-enter into civilisation, I actually can’t remember how to dress? How did I dress before all this? What goes with what? What is socially acceptable? Can I go out in slippers? How do I wear jeans? What are jeans? I am now finding that I am planning my weekly food-shop-outfit like it’s a red-carpet premier. Little things.

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  • I have become really adept to social distancing from my husband. Days are FULL ON, so once the kids go to bed I feel social distancing should be enforced to keep one’s sanity and marriage alive. I believe it is at least 12.5 meters from the living room to bedroom. Gold star. And god bless the garage. Not quite sure what goes on in there but god bless it anyway.

 

  • Don’t quote me on this, but I think DIY is a chance to escape from the kids??!

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  • I believe the weekly food shop outing has become a pleasure and almost a “chore” to fight over? Chance to break the cycle. Even though this is such a bazar experience in itself and a reality check outside of your isolation bubble.

 

  • Working from home is a massive juggle BUT (if the kids don’t find you) a lovely break.

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  • Using social media waaaaay too much. Maybe it’s because we can’t see REAL LIFE people, so we have to get our fix. Reassurance? But I am disgusted at myself how much I’m on it at the moment. I actually thought there was smoke coming out of my Instagram account the other day.

 

  • My tea drinking has become EXCESSIVE. It really breaks up the day, and it has become exciting to vary it between normal tea, mint tea, lemon tea and ginger tea. I fear that I may actually need a life. And how will I EVER go back to normality and acceptable tea drinking levels.

 

  • Carnage but calm, all at the same time. I can only liken it to the days when I had 1x baby and 1x toddler on maternity leave and not a single second everrrrr to myself. The days are just total carnage, so much noise and chaos constantly. But at the same time, I’m starting to feel quite calm??? No schedules, no plans, no routines, no clubs, no school run, no social commitments, no deadlines, no…….no nothing. Apart from the obvious elephant in the room (starts with C), I’m not worrying and stressing about life in general. Kinda like a long-extended Christmas holiday (festively plump) but without the tree? Hell, I might actually get a tree.

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  • YOU TIME-nope. zero. Although, I’m grateful to the kids for not giving me time to think too much. Evenings (apart from social distancing from husband) become the time to work out, wash, clean, eat, sit down, reply to messages, work, shave/pluck (maybe) DIY etc. I’m very aware that isolation must be totally different for everyone. On the other end of the spectrum, people doing this by themselves must be really tough in other ways.

 

  • Home-schooling isn’t for us. The first week I found really stressful as live stream school stuff we had to keep to, worksheets to get through, educational games to play, phonics to learn, writing to do. An overload of things to do and different options and I felt like I needed to do it ALL to be a good mum. But actually my 4-year-old was not interested or compliant and my 2-year-old was intent on putting a stop to anything remotely productive. So, the second week (technically Easter holidays so anything we do is a bonus), after reading lots of inspirational quotes floating around on social media, I relaxed the “rules”. I’m trying to go-with-the-flow-man (matches my hippy hair and hairy legs) and taking my 4-year-olds lead with learning. If he’s up for it, we seize the moment, if he isn’t, we do something else! But I can honestly say I think all teachers should be given an MBE from the Queen.

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  • Not lacking ideas, lacking time???! Seem busier now than ever, working my way through list of “fun lockdown activities to do with kids” and “stuff to get done in the house during isolation”….alternated with 3x meals a day, daily exercise, work, keeping house semi liveable and just generally keeping the status quo. Ironic, as technically I should have all the time in the world now.

 

  • Forgotten how to socially act. I don’t know how to talk to real people anymore. On the odd occasion I bump into someone in Tescos/ on walk/ leaning out of window, I can’t remember how to talk like a normal person? I stutter, high pitched, no banter, talk about the weather too much and nervous giggle (or was this me anyway???). I’m going to emerge from this a very strange person.

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  • Daily exercise is weird. You become nervous to bump into people (how can you get kids to social distance?), but then excited at the same time but restraining from big hugs and licking them all over (oh no, I AM weird). You become an expert at pavement swerving (2 meters), but then you don’t know whether to say “good morning” or avoid eye contact?? You feel like you’re being watched (probs are….is this your second exercise for the day??), people don’t trust you (have we got it), you don’t trust people (have they got it). I feel like when this is all over we are all going to have social anxiety and be mega odd and twitchy. Main thing is you can’t pet lovely happy dogs anymore! If they bound up to you, you just hold your hands in the air and sorta pet them with your legs? Just me??

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  • What’s the etiquette now? When you drop food to friends/ relatives? Do you just drop and run? Can you stop for a chat? When you walk passed a friend’s house do you try and catch them at the window or do you just scuttle passed quickly and avert eyes? Can you stop and have a snack? Can you sit on a bench? Can you talk to the postman? Can you accept food made by other people? Can you go around to pick stuff up from people’s front gates?

 

  • Feeling guilty about online shopping?? On one hand, supporting small businesses and helping people keep their jobs etc. On the other hand, I’m making people sacrifice time with THEIR family and exposing them to germs just because I want some new cosy house clothes?

 

  • Every little cough, every little sniff, feeling hot (just ran up the stairs), I think is Corona.

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  • Neighbourhood watch. They might as well sign me up. Curtain twitcher??? Often the highlight of my day when the bin men come.

 

  • Kids are having a WHALE of a time, its only us that worry.

  • Really feeling content by the little things these days. Loving discovering beautiful hidden spots moments away from our house that we would have never discovered otherwise. Saw some Daffodils the other day and cried.

 

Really Hope everyone is ok out there x