So the lovely guys over at The Board Basement in Exeter asked me to be involved in their new project #wearetakingoverthisshow
Basically they are getting people involved in the UK Snowboard Industry to write about interesting stuff! Of course my entry had to be about something to do with babies and snowboarding. So here is a link to the article up on The Board Basement Website. Hope you like it………..
4.30 am
I can hear the birds, Mummy calls them the bloody birds? Hope they aren’t hurt. Must be time to get up. I’m going to use this time to experiment with my voice and make lots of weird and unusual noises.
5.30 am
Finally Mummy comes in. I know she’s been trying to ignore me for as long as possible, but the banging my fists on the cot really loudly always gets her attention. She picks me up and tells me i’m a “stinky boy”. Well Mum, if you’d been sitting in your own poo for at least an hour you would be stinky too.
5.45 am
mmmmmm milk in bed. But there’s nothing really coming out of these saggy sack things anymore? Not like the good old days.
6.30 am
Right, I have 20 mins to roam free around the room whilst Mummy puts that stuff on her face. I like to start by taking all my nappies out of the draw, then emptying my clothes from the cupboard, then finishing off by hiding things around the room for Mum to find at a later date. Once I’m done, I like to go and sit really close to Mummy whilst she tries to distract me with these black wands (?). Stop palming me off Mum, you know what I want. That little fluffy brush that makes your face go orange. When she’s not looking I like to use it to tickle the part of my body that Mummy calls “my bits”…..she really doesn’t like that. Should’ve put my nappy back on huh?! Hmm, she looks all flustered. I wonder if she realises she has only drawn one eye brow on again today?
7.00 am
Downstairs for breakfast. Same sh*t, different day. You really need to mix things up Mum. And no, using Thomas The Tank on the Ipad will not make the Banana Wheetabix any more appetising than yesterday. GIVE ME THE COCO POPS.
7.30 am
Breakfast done. Why do I have to go in the sink after every meal time? Oh well, great opportunity to investigate everything on the draining board. Why does Mummy go pale when I grab the long sharp silver thing? Just wanted to touch it.
7.45 am
Play time in living room. Good time to play one of our favourite games. I take all of the wet wipes out of the packet, then Mummy puts them all back in again. She then hides the packet, I find them and take them out again. We keep playing this over and over, she loves it.
8.00 am
Oh no, the other one’s going. Please don’t leave me with Mumma all day.
8.30 am
Pretty sure we are getting ready to leave the house. OMG I’m so excited. If I bang on the front door it really hurries things along. Also discovered that If I throw this minty bristle thing in the toilet, I don’t have to do whatever Mumma wants me to do with it. Saves time. I’ve picked out my outfit, Mum helped. It’s always good exercise playing the chasing game around the living room whilst she dresses me. Sometimes we play the “shhh dont tell Dadda game” and she styles my hair and puts little clips in it to see what I would look like as a girl. Right, all ready to go, must just go “one last time” before we leave the house. It’s a big one. Oh, why has Mummy given me a change of outfit?
8.45 am
Right, into that huge machine that I seem to spend half my life in. Space Ship?? She’s put a mirror on the seat in front so I can look at myself. Heeeeey Good Looking!! Mum, stop playing that lullaby music so loud with the windows open, people are looking at us and it’s definitely not going to help me sleee…………zzzzzzzzzzzzz
9.30 am
Oh time to wake up! We are at that place again where Mum comes out looking all hot and sweaty. Sweet I get to hang out with my mates for an hour. Oh lord, I want the ground to open up and swallow me, my mate has turned up in the same T-Shirt as me. HOW EMBARRASSING!! Why on earth is Mummy taking photos of us and saying “awwww” This is so humiliating. On the plus side, I get to mind sweep the other kids food at snack time. Mum keeps sending me in with this healthy cr*p that taste like cardboard. Whatsits are way more me.
11.00 am
Off to the park again it seems. Hope there’s a slide………….
Oh no, it’s that girl that Mummy calls “my girlfriend” and always makes us kiss. In fact, she calls every one of my girl mates my girlfriend or future wife. I’m not a pimp Mum. Please don’t make me kiss her again, she always has her mouth wide open……actually no that’s me. Need practice.
12.00 pm
Picnic time. I like to eat my lunch whilst running around, just to maximise time you know. Mum knows this so why does she always make me try and sit down “nicely on the matt”. I’M SO BORED.
Why is mum so cross? I was only trying to paint you a lovely picture on your white top with the red berries you keep trying to shove in my mouth. I’ve heard you say a million times you want me to be creative. Oh well, just give her one of my smiles and a cute giggle and she forgives me for anything. Haha sucker!
Oh a little sing-song, how lovely. Lets make Mummy feel better by smiling at her and clapping. I wont tell her that she’s never going to make the X-factor. Argh she keeps clapping back at me, so then I have to carry on clapping, then she claps more, more clapping from me…it’s never ending this clapping malarkey.
2.15 pm
Glad I’ve managed to figure out how to use these stump things attached to my body, so much more independence these days. Right, now I want to investigate the kids attached to the seats that go into the sky. Mumma calls them Weeeeees?? Wow that made Mum run fast.
2.30 pm
I’m having so much fun. Found a stick that’s good for bashing. I want to keep it forever. Mummy doesn’t seem to be enjoying herself anymore? She is saying to her friend “when he gets tired, he gets naughty”. That’s not true, I’m just amusing myself so you can chat to your mates. Plus I’m not tired AT ALL………
3.00 pm
Oopse think I must have drifted off again in that big space ship again. But looks like we are back home now. I’m going to pretend I’m still asleep, Mum likes to look at me like that, sometimes take a photo. In fact, she takes A LOT of photos. Been telling her for ages I need my own Instagram account. I can tell now she is psyching her self up for what she likes to call “the transfer”. From the space ship to my cot, all the time saying shhhhhhh in my ear as if that’s going to keep me asleep. She’s left my shoes on, my clothes on and hasn’t even bothered to change my nappy. LAZY. Oh and it’s that stupid sheep thing again, Ewrin? Euan? Eagor? It sounds like an aeroplane……this is never going to work……….zzzzzzz
4.00 pm
IM AWAKE!!!! IM AWAKE!!!! LETS MAKE SH*T HAPPEN!!
Mum’s playing with food again. She keeps trying to distract me with different toys and making weird animal noises. Thank god we are at home as she sounds ridiculous. She finally gives in and passes me her other baby that she always carries with her. There’s this man that sometimes talks to me if I do a certain thing to it. Mum calls him Syree. Is Syree my Daddy?
4.30 pm
Bored of Syree now, time to investigate the cupboards……she really needs to put child locks on these. But wait, what is that weird fluffy thing following me around the kitchen, how did she get in here? It’s kind of like a human but smaller. I think they call it a Woof? or a Woof Woof? Mumma often tells me that it’s the only little sister i’ll ever have. Ah bonus, as now I get some little treats put out for me in a bowl on the floor. Taste like sh*t but I like to give them a go anyway. However, back to the Woof. I’ve never quite understood that long waggly thing hanging off her body, I really want to pull it……oppose that made Mumma moved really fast again.
5.00 pm
Dinner time….she seems to have spent a long time on this. Is that why she gets cross when I try to blow raspberries and and refuse to eat it when she tries to feed it to me? Silly aeroplane noise, that’s never going to work Mum. You just need to let me do it myself, I know what I’m doing, I’m 15 months old now for gods sake. Plus this awesome little plastic thing make a greeeaaat Catapult. And the round thing with the food in a great Frisbee. Feel like I’ve done some of my best work this evening. I like to finish off with that award-winning smile again and Mum is putty in my hands.
5.30 pm
Oh thank god, the fun person is back.
6.30 pm
Bath time. Mumma and Dadda have spent a long time teaching me to splash. But now I’ve finally got it, why do they get cross when I give them my greatest splashing rendition yet. I just don’t get it. Ooooo look at those pretty little bubbles I’ve just made in the bath. Bugger, think I might have just followed through. But look at those lovely little floaty things, I’ve created some new bath toys. Although Mummy is calling Daddy in quite an urgent voice. Maybe she just wants to show him how clever I’ve been.
7.00 pm
Bedtime. I do like to have a little tipple just before bed. If I start crying and pulling one of my ears, I get some of that sweet tasty liquid. Works every time, persistence pays off. Time for the milk. Mumma and Dadda are looking so lovingly at me. I just don’t get it, 5 mins ago they were saying they might try to sell me on Ebay. They must suffer from Bipolar, poor things.
7.30 pm
Well that’s me done for the day. Cant wait for tomorrow. In actual fact I’ll just keep calling out all night long just incase its time to get up and play again. I don’t want to miss out.
I wonder where Mumma put my stick
Our next installment of our workouts with babies/ toddlers. Yoga was a difficult one as you will see, it was hard to keep them still and actually make them do what you wanted them to do! They just have their own agenda!! But I think we all enjoyed it…..especially the bit where Arlo threw my flip-flop into the water!!
Picture this……stretched out relaxing on a towel, toes wriggling in the warm sand, evenly tanned body adorned in a tiny bikini, cocktail in one hand, book in the other, listening to the waves lap gently at your feet. Pondering life with not a care in the world (apart from when you need to turn to tan the other side). Breathing in the summer beach breeze, at one with yourself and nature.
Well that’s not you……that’s the lady next to you.
Maybe that was you a few years ago pre children, but this is you now……….
A trip to the beach is a totally different experience for me these days. Still fun, but different, oh so very different. Here are some “trouble” areas to be mindful of now you have a baby/ toddler in tow:
Luggage Allowance
Why have you got a small van full of stuff for one afternoon at the beach?? Now you have to figure out a way to carry 5 bags, tent, towels, beach blanket, toys, lunch box ….AND TODDLER (who refuses to walk in a straight line) down to the beach. Everything is perfectly balanced around your body, god forbid if you drop anything. Must even leave nipple that has accidentally popped out the side of your bikini top, sure no ones looking anyway.
Picking a Good Spot
Important. As close to the car as possible, far enough away from the sea so your toddler doesnt feel the need to go skinny dipping, close enough to other families so you don’t feel alone, but far enough away so your toddler isn’t constantly trying to become part of another family. Not next to volley ball pitch, not close to rock pools so you have to go crabbing allllll day, not next to “lads on tour” gang or young/ fit/ business lady peering disapprovingly through her dark sunglasses as you turn a blind eye to your toddler bashing seagulls with a spade (you get ’em boy).
Sand
Pre baby, LOVED it, couldn’t understand why people found it annoying. Now I understand. Literally gets everywhere, sure i’ll still be finding 2016 sand in 2020. At least when it’s just you, you can control the sand, but when its down to your free-spirited toddler, the sand knows no bounds. It gets into every orifice, yours and theirs. I found a sandcastle in his nappy and a crab disguised as sand in my bag. Also, due to the sand, Thomas The Tank was sent to an early grave. RIP. As if chucking him in the paddling pool the day before wasn’t enough.
Beach Picnics
Someone told me that a baby will try to eat sand once and then never again. Not true. In my experience so far, babies/ toddlers LOVE eating sand, over and over again. If you take a picnic to the beach, they even like to use sand as salt to season everything. In fact, sand can even make a lovely alternative to a peanut butter SANDwhich. Note to self, don’t take any “sticky” food to the beach.
Good for their immune system?!! That old chestnut
Suncream
Following on from the sand theme, I would recommend applying suncream BEFORE you get to the beach. We had an unfortunate/ funny- wished id taken a photo- incident at the beach. A healthy layer of suncream was applied to my sons face, he then wished to exfoliate by falling face first into the sand. On the plus his face looked extremely brown! On the minus, it made him very unhappy and he was totally embarrassed in front of his mates. Poor lad.
NB. Don’t forget to put suncream on yourself too, easy to miss when you are chasing your toddler around with the bottle.
Hat/ Sunnies
How on earth do you keep these on for more than 1 minute (enough time to get a pic of course)? Cue ridiculous suncream styled hairdo if cute striped beach hat has failed.
Burying Stuff
Great fun game to play with the little ones. Hours of entertainment. But then totally backfires when you start loosing stuff: phone, purse, Thomas The Tank (was he actually digging his grave??!), sunnies and even a tampon (Mummas special sweet in a wrapper!!!)
Ps. Can bury child to keep in one place
Collecting Shells
Another good game to play, but then you’ve given them the “addiction” that they have to pick up EVERY SINGLE SHELL. Takes ages to get anywhere. Small shells always seem to find their way into their mouths.
Feeding Seagulls
“Small white round thing, that’s not a human, must be a dog, i’ll feed it my lunch”. Now whole family of Seagulls have come visit our spot as they think it’s a free sunday roast.
Ice Cream
Would you like sand with that??!
The Sea
Not interested in going in it when you want them to (don’t blame you, its bloody freezing), but love throwing things into it and trying to run out to sea when you’re not looking. Pretty funny when Mumma has to wade half way to France to retrieve a flip-flop huh?!
Rain
Due to the english weather, there is a chance you may get caught in a downpour. Two choices here……..quickly get sand off EVERTHING, dry/ dress toddler, pack 5 bags, roll towels/ beach blanket, retrive floating flip-flops, un-bury phone/ purse/ sunnies/ Thomas/ tampon, empty crab/ sticks/ a billion shells from bag, fend off seagulls tucking into left over food, put nipple back in bikini top (oopse forgot about that) and remember how on earth you managed to carry everything to get down here in the first place (why have you got more stuff now??!)…..OR sack it all off and put a towel over your baby/ toddlers head and beach blanket over yourself and wait for the rain to pass.
So once you have changed your mindset and realised that beach time now is less about relaxing and more about exploring/ building/ burying/ eating/ catching/ collecting sh*t, the experience becomes a lot more enjoyable and somewhat more adventurous. I actually feel so lucky that we live so close to the beach and my son can grow up loving the beach life and all it has to offer, including sand eating!
Can also experiment with pebble beaches.
Before we went to Tignes I had a “To-Do List” of activities I wanted to do whilst we were there. Im pleased to report we ticked off quite a few. This could hopefully help people visiting Tignes with a baby/ children. Obviously we will need to go back to do the other activities we didn’t manage;)
Build a snowman
Turns out building a snowman is harder than you think, although I’m sure kids manage it? So after some failed attempts with snowmen that looked like a saggy Mr Blobby, we just claimed someone else’s snowman. Way easier. Not sure why he had a tail, but Arlo seemed pretty taken with it, well eating it to be precise.
Baby sledging
I thought Arlo would be WELL into this, adrenaline junky baby. We put SO much effort in, dragging him up the hills, and running down next to him. Then wondered why he wasn’t squealing with delight, and in fact, not even moving. I lifted his sunnies up and couldn’t believe it, he was having a sly 40 winks!! Caught red handed. Obviously sledging was waaaaay to lame for him. Next time bigger hills Mum!
Baby Snowboarding
The main reason to go to the mountains was for Arlos first training session. After all, if he’s going to make the Olympics we need to get him started!! Was difficult as he wasn’t actually walking, but we found some fun ways to include him in snowboarding (see my previous blog post). It was so lush to involve him in something that has been so special to us over the years.
Baby Swimming
The swimming pool in Tignes is pretty epic. Mainly because of the amazing view …..plus the water slide. On a Sunday and a Wednesday they heat the big pool and baby pool up so its like a hot bath. Then put lots of toys and fun things in the pool and have an hour of fun. We went twice that week, saying it was for Arlo…..but secretly I think it was a good excuse to go and soothe our aching bodies from snowboarding ( actually felt like I’d been run over by a bus).
First Croissant
When in Rome. Ended up being the main part of Arlo’s diet for the week. Why not, WE’RE ON HOLIDAY!!!
First Crepe
Chocolate was the obvious choice here. Safe to say Arlo was a huge fan. Pretty expensive in the mountains but well worth it for seeing the stoke levels from your baby. It gets messy.
First Tignes Cusine
The best noodles in Town. A must! Sit out on the terrace and enjoy:) Arlo was intrigued by the worm like creatures we were eating.
Walk along lake
The lake in Tignes is beautiful. In the winter you can walk straight across the middle of it. Unless you are partial to a bit of ice diving, this is not recommended in the spring. But a walk a round the edge of the lake on the sturdy paths is just as nice.
Visit a Snow Park (for a baby!)
We were no longer looking for rails and kickers…..now we wanted to find slides and swings. Most of the winter the childrens park is covered by snow. We hit it just the right time of year when everything was beginning to melt off. We could call this “Dry Land Baby Olympic Training”
Apres (avec Baby)
Waaaaay too drunk to get any photos of this…….JOKING!!! We managed to visit our friends bar (La Queue de Cochon and TCs) one afternoon. Arlo found some little mates and had fun trying his hardest to become part of their gang. Sure they had accepted the little ginger one by the end. Not sure he even realised we were doing Apres but it was nice to be in a bar again. Very very different Apres than “back in the day”.
US Snowboarding
We got 3 days on the hill, more than what we were expecting to be honest. And what a wonderful 3 days it was. You almost appreciate it a lot more when you have a baby (and have to pay for a lift pass!!!). You know your time is limited so you make the most of every second. No time for coffee breaks AND we got a powder day!!!
Snow Angles
Falling flat on your face, getting snow wedged in your sunglasses and crying counts yeah? Not sure Arlo enjoyed ticking this one off the To-Do List.
Snow ball fight
Again no photos of this as Mum got battered. Thanks Arlo (Dad)
Show Arlo the ACTUAL spot where we first met…..
Quite cheesy and I wouldn’t expect other people visiting Tignes to go to this spot and share a moment. But for us it was nice to reminisce where we had first laid eyes on each other 11 years ago ( well I cant remember seeing Rich but he spotted me because of my baby blue hairy boots with pink trimming……HOT). Formally known as “The Red Lion’ pub, it’s now a Spar…..yes, as in The Shop. Very romantic. Arlo just wanted another Croissant.
A massive shout out to Tignes Spririt for helping us sort everything out. See you next year:)
The countdown to your snowboard holiday is on. You’ve seen the videos on social media of the “youngest snowboarder EVER” and you have dreams of your baby being the next biggest viral sensation. But your dreams are slipping away as your baby is yet to take his/ her first steps, despite your hours of “training”.
So here are 3 tried and tested ways to have fun with your baby snowboarding before they can actually do it themselves.
Mini Snowboard + Baby
The obvious first choice. Borrow/ rent mini snowboard equipment (mega cute, take lots of photos). Cling on to the hope that when your baby is all strapped in that they will magically be able to do it (could be easier, more exciting than walking anyway?). When you realise that actually this is never going to happen, just place the babies feet in the bindings (we actually sacked off the baby snowboard boots…..wriggly baby syndrome) and drag snowboard/ baby- attached along the snow whilst supporting them. The baby’s feet WILL pop out of the bindings without the boots, so make sure you get a photo/ evidence really quickly. If you’re feeling confident, then go- for- gold and try to stand the baby up on their own. Then, with the speed of light, run out of the shot so you can get the “Baby Snowboarding All-By-Himself” photo ( we didn’t manage this).
Baby Backpack + Baby
Choose one confident snowboarder (adult) with exceptionally good balance. Strap baby into baby backpack and onto back. Snowboard (slowly, no tricks, no backflips and certainly no big jumps) along past the camera and wave. Hey presto!! Baby LOVES it, and lets face it, you look pretty cool!!!
Snowboarding Holding The Baby
I have done some pretty scary snowboarding in my time, but this was different. I actually felt responsible for another human life, MY little humans life!! So pick somewhere relatively flat to start, and empty of other snowboarders that could crash into you. Get a steady base and get someone to hand you the baby once you’re ready. Place baby in between legs, holding under the armpits, and off you go. DONT CATCH AN EDGE!! Also goes without saying, don’t accidentally drop the baby. More importantly, don’t get distracted if they pick that particular moment to do a massive sh*t. Concentration is key.
Next holiday your baby will basically be doing Triple Corks, and it’s all down to you for starting them early. Good parents.
With our snowboard trip/ Olympic- Baby- Training- Trip to Tignes drawing closer, I’m starting to think about what I need to organise. I’m reflecting back on our first trip to the mountains and what we learnt from the experience to help us this time.
1) LUGGAGE
First of all you will need a very large truck. Babies need a lot of stuff, even if it’s just for your piece of mind (actually they really don’t care if “oh my god we forgot Euan The Dream Sheep”). Sack- off any outfits for yourself and replace them with baby grows, body suits with short sleeves, body suits with long sleeves, body suits with 3/4 sleeves, tops, tops to go over tops, tops to go under tops, hoodies, thick hoodies, thin hoodies, medium thickness hoodies, jackets, denim jackets, shirt jackets, coaches jacket (he has to look the part), trousers (loose, tight, dressy, casual….thermals?), socks, gloves…….list goes on………thank god he’s not a girl! But It’s a dog- eat- dog world out there for Future- Snowboard- Mountain- Olympic- Babies, so it’s essential they look the part.
Check if the place you’re staying actually has a washing machine. Might not need to bring all that’s listed above, and might not actually have to wash your one and only outfit with shampoo in the shower.
Squeeze everything you possibly can into your suitcase, even if you’re not sure you’ll need it, pack it anyway. Then panic the night before and realise “yes we definitely do need to take that extra bag” . Then fill that bag with books, waterproof books, toys, puppets, baby wipes, muslins (lots of), squeaky toys, plastic drum WITH LIGHTS, plastic dog that makes weird noise (bark?), the plastic bus with lots of buttons, green tractor, crocodile toy with wheels (prompts favourite crocodile song). Also a remote control, car keys and mobile phone MUST be packed, firm favourites. And yes, you DO have room for the building blocks now.
It really doesn’t matter if you can’t physically carry the 10+ bags through the airport, because you have Ducky, Sheepy and Lenny The Lion and that’s all that matters.
I’ve spent years trying to rip off Easy Jet and figure out ways around paying for excess baggage (Seasonaires you know what I’m talking about!!). But I have to give them their dues now, they are actually pretty good for people travelling with babies. You are allowed 2 FREE, yes FREE, pieces of baby equipment. This can be a pram, backpack, travel cot, baby carrier, car seat etc. However I did not see Jumperoo on the list (see Tip 8). Then you can take a baby changing bag AND an additional bag as hand luggage. Baby does not count as hand luggage so all cool.
So check out your airline before flying and see what perks they have and RINSE them!
Oh and you get to board first with a baby!!! Score!…..actually not so good as it means the baby will have to sit still for longer.
2) TRANSPORTATION
Right, you’ve made it to the resort ( minus Lenny the Lion- check plane seats before leaving) now you need to think about transportation. First of all a car seat? Bringing this with you uses up one of you “free” items on the flight, so check with Taxi/ Transfer company to see if they have one. Then transportation around the resort….for the baby!! A buggy that will go on the snow? Good wheels? hmmm wonder if you can buy snow chains for buggies???
Or a baby backpack/ sling? You can walk anywhere then, but you have to be totally committed that you will have to “wear your baby” the whole time and wont be able to just leave them to chill in a buggy whilst you do Apres (responsibly obviously).
So probably take both!!
OR (this is what I want to do if there’s snow on the ground) a little baby sledge. Could even attach one of the many mountain dogs to it to give you a rest? I’ve not used this mode of transport before, so not entirely sure how they stay in the sledge. Maybe you just tie them in somehow? Or maybe you just have to train the baby not to jump out and try to catch the weird looking German’s snow blades?
Here are some pretty old- school photos of me and my brother in a sledge in Canada…
Technically you’re not ditching the baby so you can go snowboarding……. you are giving your baby the opportunity to experience another culture, learn a language, explore different foods and make some new friends. It’s totally for their benefit and you are a GREAT mother for giving your baby this amazing opportunity! It’s basically like a baby French exchange.
So think about where you’ll leave your baby for their “Cultural Education”….
A Mountain Creche??? There’s a strong possibility that when you pick them up they will say “ah Bonjor Mama!”, so many benefits to this one. Although some resorts don’t let you use the creche if you’re a tourist.
A Nanny? More one- on- one treatment. She will probably be a lot better than me at looking after Arlo as waaaaaay more experience. Actually, will Arlo want to come back to me?!
Friends…..with babies. Maybe take it in turns to look after each others babies? Or just friends (that you have plied full of Chartreuse before getting them to pinky promise that they will babysit)
Maybe you and your partner could just take it in turns? Girls day then a boys day??
Or take a baby sitter (Mum, Dad??) with you. But you will probably have to pay for them to say thank you, which means less money to spend on your babies “Mountain Wardrobe Collection”. (ps. almost all in the sale so technically saving money)
4) RE- CREATING THE BEDTIME ROUTINE…… NOT AT HOME!!!!
BRING ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING FOR THE BEDTIME ROUTINE!!!!!! Try to pretend that you are at home, turning a blind eye to the fact you’re IN ANOTHER COUNTRY!!! Don’t look your baby in the eye, they can sense your fear. Soyou must bring bath time bubbles, toys for bath, towels for baby, talc, moisturizer, toys you amuse them with whilst getting them changed after the bath, bedding, sleeping bag, pyjamas, lullabies, ALL animals for cot AND cot (where possible), singing voice and a rocking chair. Oh god and now a toothbrush for those SHARP little nashers. Also all those items that you have rubbed on yourself so they smell of you to comfort the baby!!
Actually something I found really useful was a White Noise app on your phone. You cannot always guarantee that it will be quiet in a ski resort (you were the culprit once so don’t get mad), so whack on the white noise and your baby wont even realise there is a rave happening next door.
Also black out blinds.
Book another suitcase on to your booking.
4a) JET LAG
Blame any baby sleeping problems on the fact of the 1 hour time difference (this could be a genuine reason if you’re going further a field). The baby therefore MUST be jet lagged. Something to consider.
5) FOOD
Depending on what stage your baby is at with food/ milk/ weaning will depend on what you need to take. I realise now that yes, Arlo screamed for the first few months, but it would have been easier food wise to go back packing around the world as I would only have had to take my boobs. Now its a different ball game. A blender is a good thing to have, so maybe check with where you are staying. If not, just go with lots of finger food and stuff you can mush up (Arlo will be living on a diet of Baguettes, Cheese and mashed up Tartiflette…when in Rome!)
Take at least 20 Ellas Kitchen packets…just in case.
6) NAPPIES
You’re basically going to a 3rd world country and they wont have nappies there……well at least not YOUR nappies. If you’re like me and freak out about changing the brand of nappies (if he doesn’t sleep when you’re in the mountains it was definitely the nappies fault), then make sure your bring enough with you. I’m just going to take enough for the night times, and use some french ones during the day. Wish I had been motivated enough to use those re-usable ones…..who am I kidding.
7) ACTIVITIES
Once your baby is all snowboarded out, you might want to think about other activities you can do with him/ her in the mountains. Of course building a snowman is number one on that list. I think the last one I built was actually a giant p*nis?? (we had had Jager), so make sure it’s “child friendly”, you’re on a COMPLETELY different ski trip now. Depending on the resort will depend on the activities on offer. But wherever you go there will always be walking, great/ cheap way to just absorb the mountain air. Other things include swimming, husky dog sledge riding, ice diving (totally safe for babies??!!!), shopping, soft plays (bigger resorts normally have something like this, usually in a hotel so investigate when you get there), tobogganing, picnics, horse riding, play parks (if not covered in snow) and building snow caves. Oh my god we are going to need to stay for at least a month.
And don’t forget Apres!!!!!! Perfect for babies! Music for them to dance to (well mum and dad to dance to and make the baby do pretend dance moves), great atmosphere AND it’s over before bedtime! But you must leave if people start taking their clothes off and using their snowboards to do weird kind of thrusting movements. Babies shouldn’t be exposed to this just yet.
(One of my first Snowmen, can you tell I’ve been going through old photos??!!)
Also remember activities for you to do in the evening. At least one of you will be hanging out in the accommodation whilst your baby sleeps, and you might not have a TV….or Internet oh my god!!! So take a book??? Or load up some series onto the Ipad. Also knitting?
8) CONTAINING THE BABY
As I mentioned before, “Jumperoo” wasn’t on the free baby items listed with EasyJet. So you need to think about where you are going to lovingly place (contain) your baby whilst you “get stuff done”. And you can’t always guarentee that the accommodation will be baby proofed. We used a door bouncer jumping thing (Arlo in Austria below). Didn’t take up nearly as much room as the Jumproo, plus is good for snowboard training! (see photo)
Another thing we did last time was make “Fortes” (cages) with cushions, chairs, fridges. Another good way to keep the baby in one place.
Also travel cot, high chair, pram in apartment, or wearing the baby (backpack/ carrier) in accommodation are other possibilities.
9) PROTECTION
High factor suncream (especially those travelling with ginger babies) and sunglasses (remember cord to keep them on the heads, and mittens to stop them taking them off). Or in Arlo’s case, his first pair of actual snowboard goggles!! (the perks of Rich aka Dad, working in a snowboard shop…thanks Board Basement!!!)……didn’t end up getting them as they were too big but thanks for the photo!
10) BABY MODEL PHOTO SHOOT!
You are obviously going to want to get that novelty photo of your baby on a snowboard IN THE MOUNTAINS!! Lets face it, the “baby on the sledge” and the “baby on a snowboard” photos are the main reason you’re going! So you need to think about provisions for the photo shoot. Are they actually going to snowboard???? ( had dreams of Arlo being the youngest baby EVER to snowboard, a Youtube sensation…but alas, the training hasn’t paid off and he’s yet to take his first steps……we still have 4 days though). If they are going to shred, you will need a tiny snowboard, tiny bindings, tiny boots and a pretty cool snowboard outfit (skinny pants, parka jacket, Thug Rug).
If your baby isn’t quite ready to take his/ her first turns, then maybe just get all the mini equipment anyway and pretend that they are snowboarding. OR you could snowboard and have them in between your legs (omg im SO excited to do this!!!!). Or in the baby backpack????? Or maybe just tie them to the snowboard and drag them round. Experiment. But make sure you get the shot and dont forget a baby crash helmet.
BON VOYAGE!
Hopefully you are now nice and prepared for your trip to the mountains, re- check your packing and make sure you also have teething gel, teething rings, Calpol (industrial size), baby monitor, Snuffle Babe, hair dryer (Arlo gets a blow dry every night!!), rusks, bottles, spare bottles, water cups, bubble machine, star projector, wooden puzzles for eating, swimmers and shoes/ boots for the snow? Oh and stuff for you.
Like I said, a large truck should manage all of this.
But actually, if you do forget stuff, it WILL be fine, honestly! Babies are pretty adaptable and don’t need as much stuff as you think. It’s us that freak out more. Your baby will survive without that multi coloured Parrot thing (Polly). They will be totally content with a plastic container and a wooden spoon!
But obviously don’t forget Euan The Dream Sheep.
When you are pregnant you have all these ideas about what sort of mother you would like to be. BUT when you have a baby these go out the window! You begin to realise it’s all about survival and keeping your sanity.
I WILL NOT POST A MILLION BABY PHOTOS….
Well, what can I say, within the first couple of hours I hadn’t stuck to this. Even if your baby looks like some kind of scrunched up new-born Chihuahua, you will think he/ she is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. And you just want to share this with the world…..100 times….a day!! After each photo I post on social media I promise myself that it’s definitely the last one for at least a week. But then you manage to take another banger (best smile so far, best outfit so far, best baby photo EVER), and you have this uncontrollable urge that you MUST share it. After all, it’s the first time he’s had an Ice Cream…..and HE’S ON THE BEACH!!!
I WILL GO BACK TO SNOWBOARDING/ GYMNASTICS AS SOON AS I CAN EXERCISE……..
Nearly a year on and I’ve snowboarded once and definitely not gone back to adult gymnastics, not even done a handstand yet (actually going to try this right now on the living room floor…) Both sports are high impact so strong pelvic floors are a must! Although I’m mentally ready to get back to both sports, my body certainly doesn’t feel the same anymore. It took me 3 weeks to even be able to walk around the block (on my tip toes??? Seemed easier like that). I guess giving birth takes a lot out of you, even if you do listen to whale music throughout.
I also totally under estimated just how much time and attention a baby needs. To leave a baby, even for a couple of hours (let alone a weeks snowboard trip…to another country….can I do that??), is a complex mission, especially if you are breast feeding a monster child!! So you end up just karting this creature with you everywhere you go. So this does mean you end up sacrificing your whole life/ hobbies/ EVERYTHING. You loose your identitiy as “YOU” and just merge into “Mummy/ Baby”. But I’ve just got to remind myself it’s only for a small amount of time in the grand scheme of things and it’s totally worth it:). Plus adult gymnastics is waaaaaay past my bedtime these days anyway!!!! AND I can live my gymnastic days through Arlo now instead with Baby Gymnastics!! But don’t worry I WILL BE BACK……
I’LL JUST TAKE MY BABY BACKPACKING AROUND THE WORLD WITH ME…..
Yes I’ve managed to take him IN a back pack, but certainly not around the world……yet! I would love to do this, and I know some people manage it, but honestly those first few months were the hardest of my life EVER and a complete blur. I don’t know how I ever thought it would be easy to take a new-born backpacking? It was an achievement to make it to Sainsburys, let alone India!!! I was so sleep deprived I couldn’t even figure out that the remote control didn’t live in the fridge, no hope for navigating around the world. Maybe now the constant crying/ puking/pooing/ feeding stage is over it would be easier? But you also need a willing/ equally ambitious/ silly partner in crime to take with you to help you with the baby…… pleeeeeeeaaaase Rich???? Life education??? Also lots of money. Although I’m sure Arlo would feel “at one” with the Lion cubs in Africa and we would never see him again.
NO I-PAD/ TV……
I never wanted to create a couch potato, so I wanted to only have the TV on for a “treat” What was I thinking???!!! From day one the TV has pretty much been on in the background anytime I’m at home. I just get so lonely!!! Sometimes I put music on, but the TV really makes it feel like you’re not alone and you have a friend in the room, even if it is Jeremy Kyle! And it’s not been baby friendly programs either……but equally educational???? If I have to spend a day at home, the running order consists of “Good Morning Britain” (educational on political issues) into “Lorraine” (educational celebrity gossip) into “Jeremy Kyle” (Arlos favourite program, good for learning emotions??! Although I do turn it off when they all argue and hit each other), into “This Morning” and then “Loose Women” (important for him to learn about the female species)…….then a break for lunch before switching to E4 for “How I Met Your Mother” or “The Big Bang Theory”. He doesn’t understand them yet anyway right???
I also really didn’t want him to sit on an I-pad all day everyday. But …….WE ARE GETTING HIM AN I-PAD!!! We want to train him to sit still and actually watch something to give us a break!!!! Also to keep quiet on plane journeys which will be essential for our backpacking around the world!!! (see “TV training” below)
I ONLY WANT TO HAVE WOODEN TOYS…..
I had all these visions of Arlo’s nursery (which still isn’t even done btw) filled with beautiful wooden toys, and him quietly (haha) playing with them. But the long and short of it is, they just aren’t interested in wooden toys (apart from wooden spoons from the kitchen). They love the bright plastic toys that make lots of hideous noises. And to be honest, no point spending the money on wooden toys anyway as they just puke/ poo on them. Plastic is much easier to clean. Now our living room looks like Toys RUS!!
I WILL ONLY DRESS HIM IN SECOND HAND CLOTHES….
I really wanted to save lots of money and spend it on what I felt was really important to us, which were experiences and adventures rather than brand new swanky clothes/ material possessions. After all, they grow so quickly anyway, so what was the point??!
Well let me tell you, sometimes 3am online baby shopping was the only thing that kept me going!! There is something about dressing your baby that is SO FUN!!! Waiting for that little “Zara” package to arrive in the morning. Co coordinating their outfits (we make a game out of it, Arlos going to be the next Gok Wan- don’t tell Rich). And as sad as it seems, this was the most exciting thing going on in my life at some points!! (Arlo modelling his Autumn/ Winter Collection below)
I DON’T WANT TO HAVE A ROUTINE….
I really wanted to be totally free-spirited, not constrained by a baby routine. “Just go with the flow” I thought “make him fit in with our lives”………..oh dear!! I still don’t have a strict routine with him during the daytime, everyday I do different things so he naps/ eats at different times. BUT the bedtime routine, that’s another kettle of fish!! OCD much??! Sleep deprivation is hands down the worse thing about being a mum. Sleep becomes so crucial that if one night they sleep slightly better you want to keep everything EXACTLY the same the next night. Same dinner, same times, same bath/ same bubbles, same toys in bath, same PJs, same soft toys in bed/ in same positions, same temperature in room, say same things/ in same order, sing same songs etc etc!!! And god forbid if anything happens to disrupt the routine!! THE BABY WONT SLEEP
Then you have the “get out of the house on time” morning routine, and the “eat 3 meals a day” routine…….so before I knew it, our days almost resemble a sort of routine!!!!
I’M NOT GOING TO USE MY I-PHONE IN FRONT OF HIM…..
pahahaha what was I thinking!! Those 1-2 hourly feeds 24 hours a day for the first 6 months of his life were saved by my I-phone! It’s amazing how many other people (mothers) are on FB at 3am! Again, it was the only thing that kept me awake sometimes, I tried reading a book but it was awkward to hold whilst feeding, my phone however was the perfect size! Looking back on that time now, I wish I used my time more productivelyly, maybe to learn something, a language/ philosophies of life? Instead I spent my time googling “5 ways to get your baby to sleep through the night” or “different consistencies of baby poo”.
I am still on my phone a lot more than I would like to be, but it’s becoming more difficult. Arlo sees it at this forbidden fruit and its his sole mission in life to get it. If I use it whilst feeding, he tries to eat it, if I use it whilst he’s playing, he attacks me. I actually feel guilty using it in front of him now. Arlo will catch my eye now when I’m on my phone, and I’m sure he gives me disapproving looks. I have moments where I’m on FB and I think “wtf am I doing stalking other people’s babies whilst mine is right here trying to interact with me” BAD MOTHER!! . But since my phone is like THE BEST TOY EVER for Arlo, I use it as my last resort to make him quiet or keep him still. Handy tool to have, especially changing nappies!!. I really hope this isn’t going to fry his brain:(
I’M GOING TO BE SOOOO PRODUCTIVE WITH MY MATERNITY LEAVE….
I think this was one of the biggest shocks!! I really did have visions of the baby “peacefully” sleeping in the basket whilst I made lots of lovely things for his nursery, baked (well learnt how to), wrote a book, wrote a blog (took me 8 months), knitted, caught up with friends, yoga in the living room etc. Just do all those things you never have time to do. I never realised having a “real live baby” with you on your maternity leave means you absolutely have no time whats soever!! Sometimes I get to 4pm and I think “have I even brushed my teeth today????!!”
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